I can't sleep. If this goddamn blood pressure cuff squeezes me one more time I'm going to lose it. This is so unnecessary. I shouldn't be here. My picc line stings. My veins are black and blue. Why is that machine beeping? Here comes my nurse. Should I pretend to sleep? Screw it. She's probably here for more blood work, anyway.
Oh, how easy it is to let negative self-talk dictate your reality.
"Why me?" is easier than "challenge accepted."
Self-pity is easier than self-confidence.
Anger is easier than acceptance.
When your reality becomes interrupted and your sympathetic responses kick in, it's hard to turn off this kind of negative self-talk. But it's so critical.
In times of uncertainty, remind yourself that this is not an obstacle in your path; this obstacle is your path. You are right where you should be. You are being taught a very important lesson. You have graduated and moved on to a higher level of acceptance. Every situation teaches you something, and often these lessons are repeated in different forms until that lesson has been learned.
Take yourself out of the situation and just observe. Think rationally but with compassion and acceptance. Be kind to yourself for experiencing these emotions; be there for you, then help yourself find the silver lining.
"Why me?" I'll tell you why --
because you're ready for this.
